Self-Forgiveness
In the Realm of Relationships & Lineage
1: Discover self-compassion: offering yourself kindness and understanding in times of suffering, disappointment, or self-doubt.
1: Discover self-compassion: offering yourself kindness and understanding in times of suffering, disappointment, or self-doubt.Books 📚
- Radical Compassion – by Tara Brach: Learning to Love Yourself and Your World with the Practice of RAIN (Recognize, Allow, Investigate, Nurture). Discover sources of love, forgiveness, compassion, and deep wisdom alive within all of us.
- From Self-Neglect to Compassion – by Hayley Quinn: A roadmap to recognise the habits, unhelpful stories and cyclical beliefs that hold you back and keep you stuck in exhaustion, burnout, guilt and self-criticism, while guiding you to cultivate self-compassion and a new way of relating to yourself.
- No Bad Parts – by Richard Schwartz: modern classic and basis of the Internal Family Systems method of healing, therapy, self-exploration & self-compassion.
- Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself – by Kristin Neff: how to limit self-criticism and offset its negative effects, enabling you to achieve your highest potential and a more contented, fulfilled life through the power of self-compassion.
Podcasts or AUDIO 🎧
- WISEHEART Podcast – Relationships as Spiritual Practice: this podcast is from Wiseheart Mindful Compassionate Dialogue (MCD), which has similarities to NVC but takes a different approach. Very worth diving into this podcast.
- How to Grow Self-Compassion – Podcast Episode of Being Well Podcast with Forrest Hanson & Dr. Rick Hanson: How we can use self-compassion to reduce rumination, feel safe while taking big risks, and improve our relationships with other people.
- How to Develop Fierce Self-Compassion – Podcast Episode of Very Well Mind Podcast with author Kristin Neff: how to know when to practice tender self-compassion and when to practice fierce self-compassion.
Video Channels 🎦
- Dr. Kristin Neff YouTube Channel: Great videos here! A series of self-compassion practices that are powerful and effective at helping you be more kind and supportive to yourself.
- Center for Mindful Self-Compassion YouTube Channel: Great meditations and other videos here on all aspects of self-compassion – oh yeah!
2: The Inner Critic is the part of you that voices self-doubt and negativity. Notice when it speaks and how it shapes your story.
Books 📚
- Quiet Your Inner Critic – by Lindsay Kramer: This guided journal offers readers tools to stop putting themselves down and start speaking kindly to themselves. Inspired by the widespread recognition that your inner voice plays a huge role in your self-esteem and mental health.
- How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety – by Ellen Hendricksen: takes the reader through the roots of social anxiety and why it endures, how we can rewire our brains through our behavior, and―at long last―exactly how to quiet your Inner Critic, the pesky voice that whispers, “Everyone will judge you.”
Podcasts or AUDIO 🎧
- Managing Your Inner Critic Podcast Episode: from the Being Well Podcast with Rick Hanson. the two “characters” we all have inside our minds: the inner critic and inner nurturer. Particularly, they focus on how you can go about managing your inner critic while building up a strong inner nurturer.
- AUDIOBOOK – On My Own Side – by Aziz Gazipura: Transform Self-Criticism and Doubt into Permanent Self-Worth and Confidence.
- HOW TO QUIET YOUR INNER CRITIC & ESCAPE PERFECTIONISM | DR. ELLEN HENDRIKSEN – podcast episode from the Goodlife Project.
3: Deepen your understanding of the difference between guilt and shame.
Books & AudioBooks 📚
- Daring Greatly – by Brenee Brown: this book explores the courage to be vulnerable. It touches on issues of shame and guilt in a variety of ways.
- Transform Your Guilt and Shame – by Carolyn Allard: Very cool. Evidence-based strategies to heal from trauma and adversity. Focuses on five categories of thought that contribute to problematic guilt and shame and shows readers how to recognize and challenge these thoughts.
- AUDIOBOOK: Healing the Shame That Binds You – by John Bradshaw: how unhealthy toxic shame, often learned young and maintained into adulthood, is the core component in our compulsions, co-dependencies, addictions and drive to superachieve.
Videos 🎦
- Guilt vs Shame with Brenee Brown on 60 Minutes: the author explains the difference between the two and why the distinction is crucial.
- Listening To Shame – TED TALK by Brenee Brown: what can happen when people confront their shame head-on. Her own humor, humanity and vulnerability shine through every word. She discusses shame vs guilt.
Podcasts 🎧
- Think Unbroken Podcast: Multiple episodes on overcoming guilt and shame. Approaches these themes from a variety of directions. Enjoy!
- Being Well Podcast: Changing Your Relationship to Shame: Episode deep dive into what shame is, how it develops, what distinguishes it from guilt and other related emotions, and how questioning our assumptions about it can help us identify its origins in our lives.
4: Read, Listen and Grow: Check out powerful books and podcasts on self-forgiveness and letting go of regret.
Books & Workbooks 📚
- Radical Self-Forgiveness – by Colin Tipping: Most of us have plenty of experience with self-blame and guilt―but we are often at a loss when it comes to forgiving ourselves. According to Colin Tipping, this is because our idea of forgiveness usually requires a victim and a perpetrator, which is impossible when we play both roles at the same time.
- The Self-Forgiveness Handbook – by Thom Rutledge: Writing in the awareness that the line between spirituality and psychology has blurred, his third self-help book concentrates on kindness. That is, be kind first to yourself and your kindness will flow to others. All psychological healing comes from the ability to forgive oneself.
- No Regrets – by Hamilton Beazley: A Ten-Step Program for Living in the Present and Leaving the Past Behind. Letting go of the pain, sinking roots in earth, like a rose in the rain – to start over again.
Videos 🎦
- 8-Minute Medition for Self-Forgivness on YouTube: simple, effective, short meditation.
- 24-Minute Forgiveness Meditation for yourself and others: beautiful, calming and powerful meditation.
- 10-Minute Self-Forgiveness Meditation: offers a gentle, compassionate space to release the weight of guilt, regret, and self-judgment. If you’ve been holding onto feelings that no longer serve you, this meditation will help you let go
Resources / Websites / Services
- Resource Articles on forgiveness from APA (American Psychological Association) – some good ones here.
- Mindful Self Compassion Institute: Dr. Kristin Neff’s Institute with tons of resources, training, programs and more for self-compassion and self-forgiveness.
- The Center for Mindful Self-Compassion: training, courses, workshops, certification and so much more on self-compassion practices.